“I lift my eyes to you, the one enthroned in heaven.” — Psalm 123:1

God impressed upon my heart the question, “What are you beholding?” Desperately, I wanted the response to be, “You, Lord, of course.” Yet in my soul I was aware of the stirrings of discontentment and restlessness. Sometimes, the greatest barrier to spiritual breakthroughs is having too much knowledge. I know what the “right” answers are, the spiritual ones. I am well-versed in the pages of Scripture, which can sometimes desensitize me to the fresh activity of the Spirit upon them.

You see, I know that the apostle Paul says he found the secret to being content in any and all circumstances, which is through the strength of Jesus within him. And I know that in Hebrews 13:5, the writer tells me to be satisfied, or to be content, with what I have because Jesus will never leave me nor abandon me. But that is easier said than done, as cliche as it sounds. Yet true.

Then there is that restless feeling that makes me tired yet want to keep moving, all at the same time. To be restless is to be without rest. Jesus says come to Him, and I will find rest for my soul. To root out the source of the restlessness, one must ask themselves, what is stripping me of my rest? Where am I no longer resting? Am I resting in God, His presence, His peace, and His promises, or am suffering bouts of restlessness because I am too busy trying to figure out all of it on my own? Am I withholding access to the deepest places of my soul from Jesus?

On top of all of that, I keep dreaming I am either in an airport, frantically trying to reach my flight on time or that I am on a plane going somewhere, but I have forgotten something or left something behind. When you start to dream things more than once and notice a pattern, you Google what it could mean (because Google is always right and that’s what every sane person does). Either I am in a transitional season of life (uh, you think?) or I am trying to escape something in my life (only at work!).

Let’s see, do either of these apply to me? Well, it is a huge transitional year for our family with a grandbaby far away, the youngest graduating high school and going out of state for college, and the other daughter getting married. The two finishing their sophomore years of college are currently the only ones that have no major changes in their lives today. Now, tomorrow, we know, that could also change.

So, yes, there is a tiny bit of transition going on in my life right now. An empty nester. I feel simultaneously excited and terrified. For the escaping something part of the dream, only work. I dream of escaping so I can spend more time with my family, who is starting to be sprinkled all over, and to savor the moments and make memories with them before time is gone.

Just a few things that could make one feel restless with a splash of underlying discontentment. Thus, God bringing to me the question, “What are you beholding?” Where is my gaze and upon what has it been set? When Peter took his eyes off of Jesus, he began to sink into the raging seas (Matthew 14:30). Is that not the same thing that happens to us? Where we gaze determines where we will walk and the path we will follow. It’s like driving a car–if I am driving my car and then I notice a delightful baby fawn, fox, squirrel, bear, cow, pretty much any creature in nature, and I take my eyes off the road for any time at all, I will start to veer my car in the direction I am staring.

Same as in life. It would be easy for me to fall prey to the schemes of the enemy and allow him to distract my gaze from Jesus. We can take our eyes off Jesus for any number of reasons. Sometimes, it can be that our busyness distracts our attention and we forget to look up and invite Jesus and His presence into our situations. Other times, we can feel forgotten by God, betrayed by Him when we feel like He did not answer us in the way we wanted. When this happens, we shut down and often look away from Him. Or we feel overconfident in ourselves and our lives, and we forget how much we need Jesus so we stop looking at Him. Then there are the times we look directly at God and blame Him for what we are enduring and not allow Him to enter into the situation. Our shifting gaze can happen subtly and without our awareness. Before we know it, we have looked around us too long and allowed our circumstances to dictate our levels of happiness, joy, peace, contentment, purpose, and fulfillment. Man, the enemy is measured in his madness. We must be on guard to not fall victim to his schemes.

Where we look determines where we end up. Period. Psalms 120-134 are known as the Songs of Ascents. Each year, as the children of God trekked to Jerusalem to celebrate the festivals, they would sing these psalms. If you’re unfamiliar with them, I encourage you to read through them. In Psalm 121:1-2, the Psalmist says, “I lift my eyes toward the mountains. Where will my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.” And then in Psalm 123:1, it says, “I lift my eyes to you, the one enthroned in heaven.” These pilgrims knew where to keep their gaze–upon the Lord God, their Maker and their Protector. As they literally journeyed the path to Jerusalem, their eyes stayed fixed on the One they knew held their futures.

I once mistakenly thought that the peace and favor of God was found in circumstances that reflected the same. In the wisdom I have gained in the years spent with Jesus, I have found it to be altogether opposite. God’s peace transcends regardless of my circumstances, when I am choosing to fix my eyes on Him and trust Him in the midst of all that swirled in madness and mayhem around me. In Colossians 3:2, Paul tells us to “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” The message throughout the Scripture is consistent: Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. When we begin to look elsewhere, our perspective changes and we cease to view our situation through a sanctified lens.

Today, I pose again the question, “What are you beholding?” What God reveals to us can easily change the path of our days, our weeks, our months, our years, and, and ultimately, our lives. Look above the circumstances to the One who sustains it all by His powerful word.